Yes, Pie.

The pie love is real, and (almost) sugar free!

Is there anything more symbolic of home, family, love and sweetness than an apple pie? Not some squishy, colorless thing you grab at Safeway, mind you. We’re talking actual (in this case) grandma-made apple pie, made from actual apples grown on trees you can see from the kitchen.

What kind of apples, exactly?

Nobody knows. The trees are old, and weren’t ordered from a catalog. They were here when we moved in — 30 years ago now — and they’ve been putting out gorgeous fruit every year since then, with no help from us but some pruning. No poisons, no bug traps, just lots of love and appreciation.

There are three trees, and the apples from each are different: one yellow, one yellow with pink stripes, and one green. That’s as much as we know.

They show up like clockwork every August, along with the small herd of deer that eat cleanup under each tree, with the help of some wild turkeys.

So then, in early September, out comes the handy-dandy apple peeling and coring machine, “Apple Master,” and a few simple ingredients that have evolved over the years, both for the sake of convenience and in consideration of the diabetics and otherwise sugar-adverse among us.

Something like 7 or 8 cored and sliced apples go into a big bowl with a few squeezes of lemon, 2 tablespoons of lupin flour, a cup of Jaca (allulose), and a teaspoon or two of Apple Pie Spice, or whatever combination of cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg you like.

Trader Joe’s frozen pie crust comes close to what my grandma made from scratch, although it does have a smidge of sugar in it. It’s made from regular old wheat flour, but I haven’t found a non-wheat flour that works well for pie crust yet. Please let me know if you do!

If you’re unfamiliar with allulose (Jaca is my favorite brand) I plan to feature that in a Substack soon. It’s the processed sugar alternative we’ve been waiting for! No calories, no tummy ache, no after taste — it even caramelizes perfectly. Brilliant. More soon!

The lupin flour — great high fiber, hi protein replacement for wheat flour.

Now, back to PIE.

As usual, I pretty much ignore the package directions.

The defrosted bottom crust is placed in a Pyrex glass baking pan.

The apples, stirred up gently with the lemon juice, spices, lupin flour and Jaca allulose, go into the bottom crust, piled up nice and high, and packed in well.

The top crust is where we get fancy, because it’s nearly impossible to put a previously frozen, rolled-up crust on top of a pie and keep it intact without cussing up a storm and throwing kitchen implements around. So instead, this grandma cuts the top crust into leaves, carving leafy lines in each one with a butter knife, and covers the top that way, with the leftover bits becoming little round decorations to cover gaps between the leaves.

Cover the pie-to-be loosely with foil and bake it at 400 degrees for 25 minutes, then take the foil off and bake it at 350 for another 30 minutes.

Is there anything that smells more heavenly than an apple pie in the oven, or just pulled out, still steaming? Um, nope, don’t think so. The only problem is trying to get a photograph of the finished item, as it’s being cut and served. You’re pretty much left with nothing but some gooey crumbs on a plate. But that’s ok.

Please let me hear from you if you’re cooking, or trying to, or even thinking about it. Or not! If you’ve read this far, give me a shout, k? Questions and edits always welcome.